I am 21 years old. But, most days, I feel much older. There’s a lot that goes into that feeling. It’s the aches and pains, the tiredness, and my lack of socialization.
I’ve spent so long wanting to be a writer, but I’m finding it more and more difficult as time goes on. Mostly, because I’ve never done anything or gone anywhere. I’m a homebody whose only hobbies are reading and writing
– and the occasional World of Warcraft Session (becoming more frequent). It’s only recently that I’ve gotten more into painting and drawing. It’s refreshing to have a creative outlet other than writing, but can already feel it slowly, waning as time moves forward – almost without me.
Recently, a friend of mine, I hope as a joke, has told me a few times that I’m an old maid. 21 years old and not married. If I was married I’d be part of a young couple, but because I’m single, I’m a spinster and old maid. Now, I’m not certain what century this friend hails from anymore. He’s old enough to be my dad, but in reality he’s more of a big brother… with the occasional victorian ideal that slips out. He’ll make a reference to some movie and I won’t get it. Or reference things that I don’t really care to know about and it goes right over my head.
It’s when I’m around normal people, at work and other places, that I realize how little life experience I have.
Did you know I’ve never been to the movies by myself before writing this?
Really! I’m an introvert and my anxiety plays into that. It’s one of the most difficult things for me to be able to just go do anything by myself or take that leap and sign up for the ball room dance class I’ve always wanted to be a part of.
It’s important to do things by yourself, to discover what you like free of the influence of other people. Until this year, I’ve done everything with someone else, from shopping, to going to the movies. I hardly ever play solitare by myself, but I’ve missed out on the joy of learning what I like rather than what everyone else likes.
When I create a character for a story, usually after the first draft. I start to see that they’re rather flat, two dimensional. Outside of the story they just fall apart. There is nothing to them. You don’t know anything about them. All the characters seem to respond to situations in the same way. But people, aren’t like that. We’re all different, vibrant, and beautiful with our own unique strengths and weaknesses.
Being a person is the most important advice I can ever give to anyone, it’s piece of advice that I’m still struggling to take to heart and use in my own life. To be a person is to have passion for something, anything. To grow and to believe in a better future.
Being a person is being something beyond your day job, your blog, your online persona. It’s getting out of your comfort zone and discovering new things.
My word for 2018 is “Passion” and there’s more to passion than just pouring yourself into something. Passion is learning and discovery. To be human, to be a person, is to have Passion, to live and breathe with that feeling of utter abandon, that there is nothing in the world that can stop you from achieving your dreams.
Passion is a beautiful, wonderful, and marvelous part of being human, so be passionate. Be a person beyond one or two things. when your life is flat, your art tends to be the same. So go join that dance class, take that hike, play that game, make a new friend, get a dog. Do something with your life. Don’t let one thing consume you, or you’ll lose what it really means to be passionate about something.